January 2011
133 posts
“Bitches call me ‘The Glue Gun’ / Cuz I’m hot to the touch /...”
– Justin P. Drew
WatchThis is the trailer for Kevin Smith’s Red State. I have a very mixed opinion when it comes to the guy, but it looks like he’s going for a whole new style and tone, which is exactly what he needs. Here’s to hoping that Jay and Silent Bob don’t make cameos.
December 2010
118 posts
2 tags
WatchI don’t know if this is hilarious, or terrifying.
streeter:
Wow, this new episode of Everything/Nothing really pushes the boundaries of, well, everything! The more I listen to this podcast, the more I want to learn about the world. Thank you Dannis and Dennis for opening my eyes to all the wonders that exist out there.
Follow Dannis and Dennis on Twitter and subscribe on iTunes
I AM DOING NAKED COMEDY ON JANUARY FIFTH. →
Here’s the Facebook Event Page.
3 tags
2 tags
Coffee Shop Philosophy
“Sometimes I wonder if the end of the world is a promise, not a threat. It seems like from the time we all began, we were clamoring to get out of whatever bizarre deal left us stranded on a rock floating in the middle of nowhere. We’re a city unto ourselves, and we can’t help but strangle each other to death out of fear.”
“Listen kid, I just want my mocha,” replied the...
1 tag
A Twitter Account That Lists Every Unfunny Thing.... →
“Telemarketer called. We talked for a bit, then I started blasting amateur porn...”
– Justin P. Drew (follow me on TWITTER)
Hopey: A little boy and a child molester go into the woods. The little boy says "ooooh, mister, it's scary out here!" The child molester replies, "how the fuck do you think I'm going to feel when I'm leaving in a few hours by myself?"
Justin P. Drew: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Rob Delaney: The 2010 Rob Delaney Award Nominees... →
Rob Delaney is starting his own awards, and I gotta say, “Moist Lesson Of Tolerance” is pretty high on my list this year, but “Cuntquake” is a fan favorite. Who will win??? (“Seven Gay Doors” is most definitely a dark horse.)
robdelaney:
I know there are plenty of “Best Of” lists at the end of the year, so I hope you don’t find this redundant. In any case,...
GOING FOR AUTHENTICITY
Hopey: just removed a gigantic chunk of stress from her life. now, to bring the imac to get looked at, do laundry, find food, go back to work, go to training, make cockles. commies. ♥
Justin P. Drew: Wait, did you have an abortion?
Hopey: someone apparently doesn't listen when i tell him shit is supposed to stay between us.
Justin P. Drew: It's your own fault, you terminated my child.
Dani: I was gonna post about how happy it makes me that you are less stressed, but then i read the comments and laughed so hard I choked. lawls.
Hopey: We talked about this, Justin. i think it's extremely inappropriate to be bringing this up on my facebook wall.
Justin P. Drew: Is it because I wanted to name it Kanye? Is that why you did it?
Hopey: It was the black dye injections that sent me over the edge. its not even fda approved! and it was painful!
Justin P. Drew: I WAS GOING FOR AUTHENTICITY
Hopey: I'M NOT YOUR CHEMISTRY SET. YOU WONDER WHY I RESENT YOU.
Dani: oh god this just keeps getting worse
Hopey: Stay tuned, dani. you know how we get.
Justin P. Drew: KANYE WOULD BE THE DOUCHIEST NAME FOR A WHITE KID EVER WE HAD TO MAKE IT A NEGRO
Hopey: THEN BANG A BLACK LADY. I CAN'T BE YOUR EXPERIMENTAL LOVER ANYMORE.
Justin P. Drew: ARE YOU CRAZY? THAT WOULD NEVER WORK. YOU KNOW HOW SMALL MY DICK IS
Hopey: Then you need to be more realistic about your options. i'm not going to be your guinea pig anymore. four times is enough.
Justin P. Drew: Fine, I'll just go to Africa and ADOPT ONE. Jeezus.
Dani: bahahhahahaaaa, you people made my day. Thank you. Thank you.
Hopey: i believed in love until i met you.
“Those Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combos go together like sweatpants & Type 2...”
– Rob Delaney